Six lies, two truths:
Portable battery charger!
Sufficient for two complete human battery charges. With interchangeable 220- and 110-volt plugs. Fits most outlets.
Tissues and hand sanitizer
The new currency in a cashless society.
Eye drops
Because contacts suck when motorbikes, tuk tuks and trucks kick up dust on the unpaved dirt roads of Southeast Asia.
Dark sunglasses, extra-strong SPF (scam protection factor) sunscreen, scam spray repellent
For blocking out the nonsense.
Side-eye mask
Slip it on and let it do the work of staring down naughty kids and grown men who won’t stop kicking, bumping or pulling down the back of your airplane seat, for you.
Plenty of cash
For various squatty toilet and missing toilet paper situations.
TSA mini locks
For handcuffed playtime.
Black underwear briefs with zippered pockets
Come and rob me if you can.
